Sometimes, I get this wild hair to write a blog post, and I immediately shove it in the back of my mind. Usually, that's because it's too vulnerable. Too real. I don't want to put that much of myself out there. But if it's OK to put all the good stuff out there, pretty sure it's only fair to put the hard things too, right?
I didn't want to write this post. Because I don't like the idea of online dating. It seems like a failure. Like I can't handle being on my own so I'm desperate to find someone. Like giving up on doing things the "normal" way. But what is normal? Who decided that? We live in a different world now. Largely, it's a digitally connected one. While that comes with its own pitfalls, what an opportunity to connect with people we would never be able to otherwise.
With that said, yep you guessed it, I have an online dating profile. Not gonna lie, I cringed a little typing that. But I'm done with that. From here on out, I'm just gonna own it. I'm not desperate, I'm just being open to God's plan. And if He wants me to meet someone, I know He can put that person in my life no matter what. But we are supposed to do our part, so I'm trying to put myself out there, challenge myself, even though it's uncomfortable.
A few posts ago I talked about writing a book called "A Series of Awkward Events," about my life...and when I do, this topic will probably take up at least two chapters ;) All that said, I thought I'd give a quick preview here, of the struggle bus the whole process can be...and if y'all have any guys in your life on online dating sites, show them this list. Please. I want to help them. And by extension, help me ;)
- Guys. Please don't write "I like the outdoors, sports and music. Just looking for a nice girl." If this is your bio, I'm automatically writing you off. It's not that those things are bad...it's just that I've read literally hundreds of other profiles exactly like that. I have no sense of who you actually are. You only get about 30 seconds to intrigue someone enough to send you a message, and they need something to work with, people.
- On that same note, if you write "I'll fill this bio out later, this requires too many characters." I'm going to assume you don't care that much. Or you're boring. Or you're incapable of communicating. I know that escalated quickly, but this is online dating, all I can do is assume the worst! ;)
- On the flip side, writing about that one time your favorite dog died and all of your emotions in that pivotal moment of your life...yeah, not necessary for a first impression.
- OH AND, please don't put how much you make in your bio. It either comes off cocky or pathetic, and you may be neither of those things, so just don't, k?
- If you post only group photos, well, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. It's like a mystery grab box. Not sure that's a chance I'm willing to take.
- I get it, first messages are awkward. I suck at them too. I never know what to say. But here's a tip, if you just send me a smiley, I don't know what to say to that. Or, my personal favorite, if you ask me to attend your graduation in the very first message...I like intentional dating as much as the next Christian/Catholic girl, but that's probably going to weird me out just a little. Yes, that actually happened.
Ok, I've ragged on this enough for now ;) This is the real reason I'm willing to give this a try, and maybe you should too. It allows me to meet and read about lots of people I wouldn't have otherwise had contact with. And hey, on the off chance this thing works, the weird awkwardness is worth it, right? Maybe? Here's hoping...
In conclusion...I can't finish this post without talking about this one last thing. Comparison is the thief of joy. Not gonna lie, when I don't get a message back from someone I am genuinely interested in, my mind starts this whole conversation of, "what is wrong with me? There are probably more attractive girls on here(duh, there's ALWAYS going to be someone more attractive.) I'm just not interesting enough." And the list goes on... But y'all, that's not the point of this. God knows what he's doing. And if someone doesn't respond, well then that clearly wasn't the right person for me. That is OK. I've met some really nice guys that haven't worked out in a dating sort of way, but have enriched my life just by being in it.
Rambling over...for today ;) Because Part 2 is coming and I know you're all holding your breath!